PART OF THE FAMILY (SERIES)Growing to maturity

In this series we talked about the emotional wounds of living life like an orphan; feeling

misunderstood and like you don’t have a home. We talked about God being the perfect parent who adopts us and heals all of our wounds. And we talked about the fact that becoming part of God’s family means we have a role to play to make the rest of the family better. God has given us gifts and a particular lane to flow in where we bless others. As other people flow in their gifts it benefits us and as we flow in our gifts we benefit them. In God’s kingdom we are all connected, serving one another until we all grow to maturity.

This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

Ephesians 4:13 NLT

To be mature means to be fully developed, having reached the most advanced stage in a

process. Jesus Christ lived a perfect life because he was mature. He had a fully developed

relationship with God and a deep knowledge of God. Our goal as followers of Christ is to grow to be like him, so we can flourish emotionally and spiritually.

God designed us to have unity with him, with each other, and with all of creation. Satan uses

lies and manipulation to bring separation between us and God. The more we get separated from God, the more we get separated from everything and everyone else. Satan’s deception is so strong that he can even separate us from our true identity. We can live our whole lives not knowing who we truly are.

Even though Adam and Eve walked with God they lacked knowledge and understanding of him so Satan was able to deceive them. He was able to get them to believe God was withholding something from them. He got them to believe they could get what they wanted without God.

They had spent time with God, but they were not mature in their relationship with him. Because of their ignorance they were pulled away from God. Jesus is our example of how to be a fully developed human. He spent time with God but he also grew in wisdom and understanding so that Satan couldn't separate him from God. Our goal is to become so deeply rooted in our relationship with God so that nothing can separate us from him again.

Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous. Romans 5:18-19 NLT

Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The LORD our God is the one and only LORD. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31 NLT

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.

Colossians 2:7-8 NLT

It is our job to keep our hearts open towards God. We have to pay attention when pain,

confusion, disappointment, unforgiveness or bitterness cause our heart to harden and make us numb to him. We can only help those who are struggling in their relationship with God once we figure out ours. Then we can also guide those who want to have a relationship with God.

Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and

unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Remember what it says: “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.” Hebrews 3:12-15 NLT

Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap.

For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. 2 Timothy 2:25-26 NLT

As mature followers of Jesus, we have to know that God wants everyone to be saved but not everyone wants to submit to God. Some people’s hearts are hardened and they may not be ready. Telling them about God’s love is not as effective as showing them God’s love. We should always be ready to explain our faith but it’s more important that we live a loving and godly life.

Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God. But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this? 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 NLT

And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.

1 Peter 3:15-16 NLT

The world believes spirituality is about tapping into a higher power for gifts or visions or

manifesting your perfect life. Sometimes Christians also get caught in that trap. We can focus too much on encounters with spiritual beings, or gifted celebrities in the church, or with prophecy and end times. It’s about the creator of the universe wanting a relationship with us, his children, his prized creation. He wants to guide us and restore the relationship we had before the fall. But for people who have been hurt by relationships, the idea of trusting or submitting to someone seems dangerous or uncomfortable. When someone else is in charge they could take you places that make you uncomfortable or you could get hurt. It can be hard to accept that because God loves us he doesn’t always shield us from pain. He doesn't bring us through hardship to break us but to strengthen us. If we can go through the process without becoming offended or losing hope then we can be a light for others, pointing them to God. “He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples, and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need. From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries. “His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from

any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said,

‘We are his offspring.’ Acts 17: 24-28 NLT

He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession. James 1:18 NLT

For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:6-10 NLT

It’s eye opening when you realize that because of pain, trauma, or disappointment that we will run from the things that should give us the most fulfillment. There are places God wants to take us and things he wants us to do, but our level of maturity will determine whether or not we can handle his promotions or blessings. Being mature means you are willing to forgive others and heal if they are the cause of your trauma or setbacks. Being mature also means you are willing to acknowledge, prepare, or adapt if the setbacks are because of you.

Even though Jesus calls us new creations, we don’t automatically become mature. We have to be willing to go through the process. Some people may get saved but they struggle with the process because they have the wrong environment.

“Let’s feast and drink, for tomorrow we die!” Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:32-33 NLT

Spending too much time with the wrong people can cause you to stay immature. You won’t have mature role models to look up to. You may even be rewarded for being immature so you won’t try to grow. They may not be able to properly support you if you have a mental health condition.

If you’re around people who have abused or traumatized you then it affects your ability to

connect deeply with others or with God. Your relationships will be very shallow and you may

have trouble maintaining them. You may not become self aware because no one will take the time to help you understand how others perceive you. And no one will ask the hard questions to get you to understand why you do the things you do.

The problem with being immature is that you miss out on valuable experiences since you’re not developed enough to do certain things on your own. You can also alienate the people around you because you make your problems their responsibility. Immature people don't know how to respond to situations appropriately and they don't see how they contribute to some of the challenges around them.

Immature people don't know how to have the hard conversations with God and expect others to do it for them. When things don’t go the way they expect, they might get overwhelmed or upset or have trouble calming down. They may try to run or hide from God when he takes them to a new place or offers them a new challenge. They won’t have the same passion to see people saved that God has. And when the stresses of life come they aren't able to control their impulses.

Sadly most people don't begin to mature unless they experience some kind of hardship and

responsibility is thrust on them. But ideally we want to have people in our lives who have gone through the process who can expose us to new stages of growth a little bit at a time. That's exactly who God wants to be in our lives. He may even send people who will love you and care about you and will encourage you to grow and hold you accountable to the process.

We all will continue to make mistakes until the day we die, so the goal is not perfection on this side of heaven. The goal is to grow towards maturity. Here are some of the signs we are

becoming mature in the Lord.

We know God, love God, and TRUST God deeply. We feel safe with him. We remember

him in the good times and we draw closer to him when times are bad. We value our time

with him and run towards him when he calls.

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am

coming.” Psalm 27:8 NLT

We love people, even when they aren’t lovable. We know our battle isn’t against people.

And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers.

1 John 4:17, 19-21 NLT

We love ourselves. We work hard to discover our identity in Christ. We don't self

sabotage. We can correct ourselves instead of condemning ourselves when we fall short.

Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear. For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. 1 Timothy 1:19 NLT

They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” John 8:7-11 NLT

*If no one else is allowed to condemn you then you shouldn't condemn yourself.

We don’t give up on ourselves or the mission, especially when it gets hard.

So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of

blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 NLT

We know enough about God that no one could lie to us and make us question his

character. We can’t be offended by God. We know too much to walk away.

Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Ephesians 4:14 NLT

We have everything we need to live a life that pleases God. It was all given to us by God's own power, when we learned he had invited us to share in his wonderful goodness. God made great and marvelous promises, so his nature would become part of us. Then we could escape our evil desires and the corrupt influences of this world. Do your best to improve your faith by adding goodness, understanding, self-control, patience, devotion to God, concern for others, and love. If you keep growing in this way, it will show that what you know about our Lord Jesus Christ has made your lives useful and meaningful. 2 Peter 1:3-8 CEV

What areas of your life is God showing you that you need to become more mature?

Loving God better (more trust, more submission) Loving people better (more forgiveness, more grace, more understanding, better boundaries) Loving yourself better (more forgiveness, more grace, asking for help, believing in yourself) Self discipline (trying harder, aiming higher, consistency, not quitting too soon) Growing in knowledge and wisdom (discipleship)